Hachiman and Yumiko
by Link8
Summary: Hikigaya Hachiman and Miura Yumiko are now married and do things together.
1. Hachiman and Yumiko

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu.**_

* * *

 ** _~ Hachiman and Yumiko Goes Grocery Shopping ~_**

* * *

"Hachi, what shall we eat for dinner?" Yumiko asked sheepishly as we entered the supermarket side by side.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Doesn't matter, Yumi. You pick."

"I hate it when you do that, y'know," she remarked, "we're suppose to be a team."

"Sorry, force of habit." I scratched my head. "Ramen?" I suggested.

"We had that last night."

"I like ramen." _I LOVE ramen._

"Well, we can't have it every night. I'm thinking something savory, un-soupy..." Yumiko placed a hand on her chin, assuming a thinking posture.

"Onigiri?" I tried again.

She snapped her fingers as if I struck gold, green eyes sparkling. "Thaaat's it! We'll need rice, seaweed, tomatoes, other stuff. Gimme a basket, Hachi."

"Eh? Okay." I handed Yumiko a shopping basket from the entry zone. "We don't need rice, though."

"You sure?"

I nodded. "Positive, we still have that huge sack inside the pantry."

"Hmm. Let's go get some vegetables!" By the time Yumiko finished her sentence, no longer was she by my side. She made a beeline for the produce aisle ahead, then she stopped halfway, spun on her heel, and looked to me. "C'mon, slowpoke."

"All right, all right, I'm coming." I walked a little faster.

Yumiko always insisted on picking the "freshest" vegetables available out of every group. Currently, she had a tomato in each her hand, the best two out of the entire pile of tomatoes, comparing it with such determination. Squinting her eyes, looking back and forth at Tomato A and Tomato B. On the rare occasion I joined her grocery shopping, I'd knew she'd spent an eternity at the produce aisle, so usually I split up with her to gather the other ingredients.

"Yumi," I said, "I'm gonna go pick the fish, then."

"Get salmon," she replied, still comparing the two tomatoes. "Love you."

"Yeah, yeah," I said, "...Love you, too."

I went to the deli section and picked up a fresh salmon from the merchant. And when I came back, Yumiko was, this time, comparing two eggplants. The thing was, she had literally only a tomato in our shopping basket; I been gone for almost five minutes. Unbelievable, but I came to expect it. I smirked a little as I made my way over to Yumiko with the salmon.

"Got salmon like you asked." I dropped it into the basket, watching her eggplant fiasco for a bit.

"Seaweed?" She wouldn't allow me to slack off.

"Okay, be right back."

I went to pick up some packaged seaweed, and when I came back three minutes later, it was the onions. In our basket: a tomato, salmon, and eggplant. Dropping the seaweed into the basket, I asked Yumiko, "Want me to help, Yumi?"

"No, you'll just half-ass it. I'm almost done."

"Okay." _This'll be a while._

I stood a little ways back, watching a veteran vegetable expert at work.

 ** _Fifteen minutes later..._**

In our basket: a tomato, eggplant, green onion, packaged seaweed, salmon, and a cabbage.

Next, we hit up the snack aisle.

"Could you reach me the mushroom chips?" asked Yumiko.

"Sure."

It was always so high up, so Yumiko could never reach it. Only when I shop with her, she's able to get them. Regardless, she wasn't a huge snacker. Neither was I, I'm a huge MAX-er. Yumiko preferred it if our diet was balanced, and snacks were in moderation.

I dropped the mushroom chips into the basket Yumiko held. She grinned ear to ear at the thud. "How chivalrous of you, Hachi! You deserve a treat."

"Oh?" _Oh-ho._ _I know a treat I want._

Immediately, lust was written on my face. My thoughts were now on getting home, and not for dinner. Yumiko, expecting that reaction, giggled and said, "C'mon, you're gonna bump into someone. Let's get some bread, and we're done."

Lastly, we went to get some melonpan, Yumiko's favorite, at the bakery adjacent to the dried goods aisle.

"Four melonpan, please," Yumiko beamed brightly, putting four fingers up.

"They're on the house, ma'am." The much older male blushed crimson, handing Yumiko the bag. _If I did that, you'd probably charge me three times the price._

Yumiko just had that factor where, on occasion, men will give her free stuff if it's within their power.

"Really! Why, thank you very much." She slightly bowed her head in utmost gratitude.

This only prompted him to give more free goods. _Yes, keep going, Yumi. Drain this guy dry of his resources, lol._

Still, the way he's staring at Yumiko bothers me.

"Hachi, please help me with these bags." Combined, they were thicker than Zaimokuza's manuscript.

I cradled all the bags in one swoop, while as Yumiko went along with the light basket in hand.

"Fuck that guy..." I muttered to myself.

"Hikio!" Uh-oh. When she's really mad at me, she'll call me by that moniker. Am I still valid for that "treat?"

* * *

 _ **A/N: Short little three-minute drabble.**_

 _ **Hope you guys liked it.**_

 _ **More?**_

 _ **As always, thanks for reading.**_


	2. Hachiman and Yumiko 2

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu._**

* * *

 ** _~ Hachiman and Yumiko Watches a Rom-Com~_**

* * *

 ** _-2 -_**

"Thank you very much. Hope to see you again soon." Yumiko bowed graciously before our guests with such gusto.

"Thanks, Yumiko-san!"

"Have a safe night, Yumiko-cchi!"

"I had soooo much fun! See ya, Yumiko-san! Bye-bye."

Yumiko saw after the last handful of regulars as I switched the neon sign from Open to Closed. The time was 20:00—closing hour—so now we're officially done for the night.

 _Finally..._

"Phew!" I exhaled, wiping sweat off my forehead with a hand.

"You tired, Hachi?"

Yumiko picked up a plastic bin off the marble stage in the center and scoured the lounge for microphones. It got on my nerves when people forget to put away the mikes before leaving, not that it happened very often. I walked over to the drink bar, positioned in the far left corner, I needed a MAX.

"Yeah, it's been a long day." Indeed it was, we've completed a hectic twelve-hour shift, which was nothing new. "Yumi, want a drink?"

"Water's fine," Yumiko briefly replied.

Yumiko and I owned a business located in the heart of Chiba: a small-scale karaoke bar, HY-Five renamed by Yumiko (previously Trickstar Café), sandwiched between a four-star hotel and shopping center. Because of this, we were always busy during the days we'd opened. That, and because everybody loved Yumiko.

Not that being busy was necessarily a bad thing, our business thrived in the highly competitive economy for that very reason, therefore generating enough revenue to support our standard lifestyle, in tenfold. That was the idea when we bought the place approximately two years ago. To turn a profit.

Before our investment, I worked editing drafts for aspiring novelists, usually at home or at libraries. Yumiko managed a gig at a corporate giant downtown as a cosmetic chemist.

But I'll spare the details...

I retrieved beverages from the drink bar and head over to the front counter, where Yumiko was now standing, scribbling on paper, tallying receipt totals. Yumiko routinely does this after work. Even at twenty-eight, I'd improved very little in math, so Yumiko handled all the math-related tasks.

"Here you go." I set the bottled water down on the counter, stationing myself right next to Yumiko.

"Thanks, Hachi." She briefly acknowledged me with a cheery gaze, then resumed the task at hand. "You've done everything?"

I always "done everything" twenty minutes before closing, to ensure a quick exit. At first we split the duties 50/50, but things were far more efficient when Yumiko tallied receipts from the get go. We always went home sooner.

"Uh-huh." I took a sip of MAX Coffee.

"Drink bar?" Yumiko asked.

"All clean," I said, not missing a beat.

"Snack bar?"

"Same."

"VIP Area?"

"Chairs are up."

"Karaoke booths?"

"Touchpads, reseted. Monitors are off. Shelves, organized."

"Restrooms?"

I shuddered as if reliving unpleasant memories. "...Yeah."

"You're the best, y'know that. Dunno what I do without you, Hachi..."

"I mean, what good am I if I can't do my part?" I shrugged my shoulders as if to say, _It's no big deal._

The only response she gave was a brief sidelong glance and a bright smile.

Yumiko strongly believed in not hiring employees to work until we seriously considered having children— so we could "relax" more often when that time comes. Personally, I was not ready to share Yumiko with anybody quite yet, so producing offspring was out of the equation, for me at least.

However...

Regardless of my ideal, if Yumiko were to make the request at a moment's notice, I'll fulfill her wish without hesitation.

Until then I, Hikigaya Hachiman, will continue assuming restrooms' duties... self-deprecating LOL.

"Almost done?" I said.

"Just about... Gimme, like, three minutes."

"Want me to start the car?"

Yumiko answered with a nod.

"Okay." I walked out the building to start said car.

Exactly five minutes later, Yumiko entered through the passenger side and I drove us home in the breathtaking moonlight. Our house was less than ten minutes away.

 ** _..._**

What I usually do when I got home after work was change out my clothes, and watched TV, specifically anime. It seemed most logical after a tiresome day. Upon changing, I headed to the living room and sprawled myself across the couch. I preferred anime in the darkness, when the only source of light was illuminating off the TV. Currently, reruns of Cowboy Bebop was airing.

"Hachi, cook the rice. I'm gonna draw a bath."

"On it."

With my response, Yumiko smiled and headed down the hall to the bathroom, and as instructed, I got up to cook rice before watching anime again. She'll probably be half an hour.

"That was heavenly." Yumiko let out a long blissful sigh as she emerged from the dimly-lit hallway.

It's been twenty-five minutes.

She was clad in a pink robe, the drawstring tied loosely, exposing her cleavage. The robe hugged and complimented the smooth curves and contours of her body seamlessly like it was tailor-made. Her golden hair still slightly wet, but nonetheless maintained its signature curliness. Her majestic green eyes breathed a new life. Needless to say, I was mesmerized. Though I was accustomed to the sight of robed Yumiko, my mouth overloaded with hormonal saliva as if it were the first time.

My heart skipped a beat, two.

"Something's gonna fly inside, y'know," she quipped, chuckling.

I closed my mouth in response. "If it happens, it happens."

"Yeah, yeah..." She impersonated in my voice. Yumiko stepped into the kitchen nearby, and asked, "Shrimp or scallions?"

"You pi..." I stopped myself. "Scallions."

I got up and headed to the kitchen.

After Yumiko cooked the scallions, I scooped the rice into bowls and got chopsticks. Yumiko dumped the scallions onto a plate, placing it middle of the round dining table. We sat across from each other, at our usual spots and ate. We had a four-seated dining table. No one ever occupied the other seats... except Komachi when she comes over. To my right was Komachi's reserved spot.

"Hachi, I was thinking we'd watch a movie after."

"Sure," I said.

"I already have the one in mind."

I swallowed the last of my food. "Let me guess..." I pretended to think over it. "... it's a romantic comedy?"

"That, it is." Yumiko grinned from ear to ear.

 ** _..._**

After dinner, Yumiko put up the romantic comedy on the TV, via streaming service. We were both situated on the couch in the living room, one lamplight on from her side. Only when we watched horror together are all the lights off. I liked the lights off completely regardless, but she preferred it this way.

Her head slumped against my shoulder as the movie began. I kept my eyes on the screen, but my mind was elsewhere... _That's definitely lavender breeze. God, that smells so good._

 _Letters from Uehara-kun, eh?_ Sounds corny as hell.

I still never understood romantic comedies. The only positive about sitting through an one hour and a half rom-com was that Yumiko's body, as the movie went on and on, would find new ways to be intimate with mine. Sometime she doesn't realize she's doing it either, oddly enough... not that I'm one to complain.

The scene started off displaying a fireplace in what appeared to be a cabin. The camera zoomed into the fireplace slowly, more slowly, foreboding music started to play. Then, white envelopes are being shoveled into the flames by some mysterious figure wearing snow boots.

I immediately lost interest, not that I had any to begin with. My eyes were still on the screen, though.

Yumiko hated it when my eyes wander off during movies.

Twenty-something minutes into it, I was confused. There was a love triangle, and then a boat exploded. The plot and pacing was all over the place. _Is this even a rom-com?_ I scratched my head in complete atonishment. Yumiko was into it, holding her breath like something big was about to happen.

While she held her breath, I felt soft fingers clinging onto my shirt, near the waist. _Warm..._

An hour or something (I lost track of time) into it, I had to balance my head on my hand to avoid falling asleep, but that's no good. I'm on the verge of losing consciousness as we speak, eyes drooping, vision going black...

 _ **"I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!"**_

My eyes peeled open to the ear-deafening howl. Yumiko gasped at I think it's Ueha-something's sudden burst of affection as if not expecting this turn of events. I looked at the screen, and the girl he made the claim to started to sob uncontrollably.

 _What the hell is going on?!_

With that thought, my lap became heavier. I glance down to see Yumiko's legs stretched out across it. In addition, her arms latched around my neck like a knitted scarf. I could no longer concentrate on the screen, but on silky smooth legs. My entire body tingled with excitement, most notably my—

 _ **BOOOOOM!**_

I shifted my attention to the screen. Another boat exploded.

I was fully invested in the movie now, but not for the reasons you'd think. _Seriously, what the hell is going on?!_

* * *

 _ **A/N: Another moderately-time drabble.**_

 _ **Hope you guys had a good time with this one.**_

 _ **Liked it? Let me know.**_

 _ **As always, thanks for reading.**_


	3. Hachiman and Yumiko 3

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu._**

* * *

 ** _~ Hachiman and Yumiko Indulges Green Tea ~_**

* * *

 ** _\- 3 -_**

Yumiko picked up a pamphlet from the directory before we ventured into the green tea-themed resort. It was a cold sunny Sunday afternoon, somewhere in the low fifties, and this was how Yumiko wanted to spend the day after doing laundry.

This was actually our first time being here. We passed this place on so many occasions Yumiko figured it was time to check it out.

"Where to first?" Yumiko asked, eyes locked onto the pamphlet's contents in her hands. I kept my arm around her shoulder to maneuver pass oncoming people, while her attention was elsewhere. Even though she wore a thick orange faux-fur coat, I felt her soft skin underneath somehow.

"Um..." I glanced at the pamphlet. There were nine options you can select from and one of them was ramen. Easy choice. "Let's go for green-tea ramen." The surety in my voice caused Yumiko to nod once, twice, golden locks bouncing with each nod. She loved it when I'm decisive rather than passive.

"Ramen, it is," Yumiko said, smiling.

 _ **...**_

The ramen shop, positioned in the far left of the area, opposite that of the 100-yen store, was packed with people, bustling in overlapping chatter. Yumiko and I sat at a small square two-person table in the corner, waiting for someone to serve us. We were done looking at the menus, with our orders in mind. I understood the place was busy, but we were waiting quite a while. By this time, we could get some mochi ice cream at a stand nearby.

"What's taking so long?" I expressed my thoughts for her to hear. As I repeatedly tapped my right index finger on the table, I let out a sigh.

"I'm sure they'll get to us soon," Yumiko said reassuringly. Two servers passed us by as she said this, ironically enough. I knew they were servers because they wore human-sized green tea bags as uniform. There was even a string in the back. _Seriously... I'd kill myself before I wear that crap._

"Let's just go," I suggested. "We'll come ba—"

As I stood, Yumiko called for one of them to come over with a "excuse me." Now standing at the edge of our table was now a giant tea bag man, holding a closed notepad.

"Um, excuse me, can you please take our order? Me and my husband have been waiting."

"Sorry for the inconvenience. Three tables are ahead. Satoshi or I will get to you when humanly poss—"

"Pleaseee..." Yumiko's gloved-clad hand briefly made contact with his costume, albeit slightly. Her voice sounded so soft and cute. _Didn't know you'd use that skill here, Yumi_. His eyes stared at the spot she touched, he was trembling through his tea bag. Instantly, the flap of the notepad opening indicated the poor guy was now under her spell.

"W-what would you like to order?" _Hey, don't ogle at her chest!_

"Two large bowls of green-tea ramen. Two green teas. Oooh, and some pickled vegetables on the side, too, for me." Yumiko ordered for both of us in a cheery, polite tone.

"Right away!" After he written it down, he ran off so quick his urgency overpowered the smell of green tea and ramen broth wafting in the air. The food must've vanished out of thin air because before I could steal a glance at Yumiko, he was running back over with a full tray, anime-style smoke on his trail.

 _ **...**_

"I was thinking we'd hit up the foot spa next, Hachi."

I watched as Yumiko slurped on her noodles, her cheeks faint red. I finished my ramen so I watched her eat, with the occasional sip of tea. She looked so innocent trying to select which pickled vegetable to choose with her chopsticks as if it mattered. My heart raced a bit.

I nod in agreement. "Yeah. If you want, we could stop for mochi, too. I mean, if you're not full, that is."

Acknowledging my words, Yumiko looked down at her bowl of ramen, chopsticks in hand. "Guess I shouldn't have ordered the large then, huh?" She smiled as if realizing her error. "Help me?" She knew I would.

My only response was the push of the porcelain bowl.

She transferred the majority of her ramen into my bowl along with the half the green broth, and we ate our respective shares. Once we were done with our meal, Yumiko left money at the table and we left for mochi.

The mochi stand was surprisingly void of customers, so unlike the ramen shop, there was no hassle. Obviously all the mochi was green tea-flavored, we each had a tray of six.

"This is pretty good, huh?" Yumiko gave me a look, olive green eyes seeking for my opinion.

"Yeah, not bad at all," I answered, truthfully. "The one at—"

"C'mon, let's hurry. Feet are freezing." Yumiko sprinted off in the direction of the foot spa while I picked up the pace, hands in my pockets.

 _ **...**_

Barricaded inside bamboo fences, forming a large circle, sat the rectangular-shaped foot spa: a small knee-deep pool of bubbling water—er, I mean green tea. Smoke was hovering above the green tea's surface. There were others here, most of them elders. Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves to their heart's content.

Nearby was several baskets by a locker area several meters from the spa. Yumiko pulled off her grayish-black boots, placing them in a vacant basket along with her purse. Then she rolled up her jeans several notches before dipping her feet into the bubbly dark green liquid.

"Aaaaah~"

As I place my belongings (shoes and socks) in the same basket and rolled up my pants up to knee-level, I sidled up next to her in the pool. While we weren't alone, at least there was a good radius between us and other people. The green tea was hot, but just the right amount of hot. My feet—and knees—felt purified by the detoxification of green tea, I almost let out an audible sigh. This, combined with the frostiness of the air, was a heavenly duo. Being next to Yumiko made it significantly better.

Yumiko pulled out the pamphlet from her coat pocket, and planned out our next location. "Hachi, let's save the shrine for last."

"Okay."

"This feels so good," she said. "We should install one at home."

"You serious?"

"Why not?" Yumiko beamed, steam rising over her face. "That way, we don't have to share it with anybody."

"That's not a bad idea..." You had me at 'don't have to share.'

I felt the weight of her head on my shoulder as she pointed a finger to _GREEN TEA VILLAGE_ on the pamphlet. "We'll go to the village after."

"Okay..." I muttered, taking in her scent.

An hour passed until we rendezvoused to the green tea village not too far away.

The village wasn't really a "village" as advertised, but rather six game booths parallel to each other: tea bag ring toss, tea bag ping pong, tea bag fishing, tea bag scoop, tea bag stuff-a-animal, and tea bag kite flying.

"This is weird." Yumiko took the words out of my mouth, her face saying, _Where's the village?_

"Just wanna go to the shrine," I suggested, raising a brow.

"Hmm... let's go to the green tea shop first."

The shop was adjacent to the booths, inside a small hut. Yumiko purchased some expensive green tea brand, and then we head off to the shrine.

 _ **...**_

The shrine was sitting beyond a steep set of stone stairs, torii gates at regular intervals. It felt like climbing Mount Fuji in a way, albeit not really. I kept a snail's pace while a certain blonde had me beat by ten steps at a time, though I caught up at some point.

At the shrine, you had to write your wish on a ema before tossing it into a boiling cauldron of green tea that rested nearby. A pelicular twist on the traditional format.

"No peeking, 'kay?"

"I won't."

Yumiko looked over her shoulders, ensuring my words held truth. Now I'm strangely curious about what she was wishing for. Once she finished, she handed me a ema and the marker, before dropping her ema into the cauldron.

I wrote down my wish and let it fall into the boiling green tea.

I had everything I could ever ask for...

Thus, free MAX for life was my wish.

While I knew it wouldn't come true (obviously), it wouldn't hurt to try.

I turned over to see Yumiko covering her mouth, chuckling. "You really are a idiot, Hachi."

"Yeah, yeah... let's go home," I said, descending the stairs first. Yumiko followed suit.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Twenty-minute drabble.**_

 _ **Would like to hear your thoughts on it.**_

 _ **As always, thanks for reading.**_


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